How do you start over after losing your spouse?

[LuLu Comer]

 I have found myself having to start over after losing my husband of nearly 38 years. I'm too old to know how to begin a new life and too young to hope for a quick death. (of this flesh body, not of my soul of course)  Now I feel a bit lost as to what I should do with my life? I find comfort in God's words. I feel guilty when I think about starting life with another man. I never cheated and when I think of having a life with someone else I feel like I'm cheating on a man who is no longer here on Earth. I know that probably sounds, well, stupid. But none the less, here I am pouring out my heart looking for answers. Maybe there is no answer. I'm lost and have no idea how to be found? I guess I shouldn't bother others with my silly problems. But what do I have to lose? Maybe God led me here for good reason?

[Ed]

Dear Lulu,

I am new to the group/forum. I am so sorry for your loss. I realize that I am only now speaking to you at over 3 years from the date you posted your comments. Have faith sister. Do not give up on life. Do not give up on God. God loves each of us so much that he would leave the 99 to search for the 1. I don't know why things happen in this world the way they do. It is the course of the river that moves as it is willed. Remember, this is NOT home. Don't get comfortable with the world for it is not of us. 

Now, if you desire and meet another man than so be it! You are NOT cheating. Love is not confined to a single person no more than a parent can only love one child. As you live, LIVE! If your husband was a true man than he would only want the best for you. And yes, if that meant another person to keep you warm at night, help you when you have fallen and provide conversation and companionship, then so be it. You have kept your vows and your word! That ends at death, as do any contractual agreements. Consider the promises of the bible. When are they fulfilled???

Live sister live! Life is truly short. Hang in there. I have known loss too and it is profound. Make God proud to say, "That is MY daughter!!!" Blessings, Ed

[RoseThistle]

Lulu, I hope and pray our Father has led and comforted in the years since this post.  Companionship and life altering changes such as having a husband of 38 years pass on, are not silly problems at all.  I forgot I joined this group and never saw your post before.  I'm sorry I did not see it earlier. 

[commonsensebeliever]

My Bible study teacher is 71, diagnosed with Parkinson's disease and lost her husband 4 years ago after 38 years together.  I have only known her for 2 years and she has been the most influential person I have ever had in my life.  She asked Father God, "What now" and He answered in a big way.  She is such an honest and transparent person, and though I have watched her age and become frailer physically, she mentors 19 women, is known as "the Midwife", as she helps birth new ministries in others, teaches weekly and leads a group of us ministering in deliverance and inner healing(not hokey stuff, but Biblically based and balanced psychologically...I am a retired psych nurse!)  May I add that I am one of the youngest in this group at age 63! I am disabled and was abandoned by my "Christian" husband after 26 years of marriage and involvement in lay ministry, left homeless and destitute and barely surviving after two major traumatic brain injuries!  If God can use me, He can use anyone!!!!  Now is YOUR time to shine for Jesus, not being tied to raising children, caring for a husband, working a career, etc.  Dive in with abandon, you got lots of wisdom to share, especially with younger women!!!!

[Question]

Beloved just stick near God you're only without your spouse for a short while. Get cats and go to Church.

[Moshe Mayim]

LuLu, I am facing the same thing after 32 years, she is still alive and got a good report at the end of her chemo but going forward, she is on her own because they stopped the drugs because after several years they no longer work. I have panic attacks sometimes just thinking about it. It is natural to not want to be alone but depending on how long it has been, you should give it some time so that you will not be vulnerable. There are so many deceptive people out there. I listen to scripture a lot and always have and it takes my mind off of the fears and worries while I am listening. Gospel of John is one of my favorites and the King James Version with Alexander Scourby is a true blessing. he has an english accent and a great actor's voice. He did these recordings back in the 1940's I believe and they have a soft gentle but firm delivery. Here is a link:   https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=az3iXhXglfY This room has a 24/7 chat room and maybe sometime we can chat and talk some bible which I always love to do. Hope this comforts you. Moshe

[RoseThistle]

Hi, Moshe.  Good to see you.  If the doctors have no more to offer, maybe you can look into the new studies being done on anti-parasiticals such as fenbendazole?  It has promising anecdotal evidence for many types of cancer and it is not expensive.  It has been used for decades as an anti-parasitical.  Did you know wild deer eat black eyed susans which are anti-parasitical out in nature?  To me, this leads me to wonder if cancer is actually parasitical in nature.  Mosquitos carry parasites that cause many diseases such as malaria, etc.  People used to drink tonic water with quinine and used other methods to deworm themselves and protect from parasites that mosquitos, dirt, pets, might carry.  There is no powerful lobby, or advertising bucks behind the anti-parasiticals, so it is not pursued as hard as other things that do have those things.  However, there has been attention brought to fenbendazole and a couple of other anti-parasiticals lately and there are studies being done, finally.  I hope this is helpful.  Praying for God's guidance, comfort, healing for you and your beloved, Moshe.

[Moshe Mayim]

Yeah, we have been doing a round of "horse paste" every 6 months or so. :) Hope all is better for you. Moshe

[RoseThistle]

I do it monthly, just like the horses get.  The parasite cycles are lunar.  I have wondered if lunartic behaviour is caused by parasite overloads which are most active at full and new moons.

I have been able to walk more and have been improving.  Praise God.  Thank you for asking. :)

Good to see you, Moshe. <3

[Ed]

Good morning. I believe you are correct regarding the two antiparasitic drugs Albend*azole and the animal (mammal)  version, Fenbend*zole. They have been successful in treating a number of terminal 'diseases' but without general acceptance in western medicine.

There are two other homeopathic alternatives as well. Some swear by walnuts. Taking a handful of walnuts 1-2 times a day for 45 days. It is said that there is an enzyme within walnuts (no other nut, just the walnut) that is paralytic to parasites which inhibits the reproduction cycle and thus provides the body a chance to naturally rid these parasites of their host. Again, there are no case studies because walnuts can't be patented for profit.

The second homeopathic remedy that I know about is apricot seeds with vitamin B12. Again, some wildly successful terminal 'disease' remissions. The primary producer of this product has been threatened with criminal persecution by governmental agencies if they do not "cease and desist". However, from a terminal patient point of view, what would be the harm in try natural alternatives? There are several sources for these products should you consider the use.

Lastly, I thought this site was dead. I applaud your efforts to be in a Bible study group of older women. Those that can stay a support group should bond strong. My group has dissolved because people died. I visit the last remain widow of 85 and we still cover the Bible. I remain available for anyone who wishes to discuss the Bible in depth. As for false prophets (teachers), I do as Biblically instructed, I test the fruit. Peace of the spirit. ~Ed

[Moshe Mayim]

Hi Ed, nice to meet you. William made me a moderator in here around 10 years ago. I invite people from another chat room to sign up here and the chat room here ebbs and flows. I love talking scripture and that is my main reason for inviting people who I believe feel the same.

[Ed]

Good Morning Moshe,

Also nice to meet you. I apologize if I sounded off, but I never received much responses on this site. I simply figured there were no more active members. Sometimes groups just dissolve and dissipate. Most Christians will respectfully engage with other Christians out of courtesy and the love of our Lord. 

I'm not very computer literate when it comes to social media, platforms, chat rooms or stuff like that. I realize the failure is on my side of the fence. It takes me longer than most to learn new technologies. However, I typically stay the course and eventually learn what is expected.

I am open to scriptural dialogue whenever you wish. 

Blessings, ~Ed

[Moshe Mayim]

I am usually in a chat room Mon - fri at this site > https://www.youtube.com/@LFTV  which starts around 12 noon west coast time. I have invited some from there and other rooms over the last decade and this chat room here ebbs and flows. It goes from very busy to a ghost town.

I love to talk about endtime prophecy, Israel and general topics. I like chat rooms because you never know what is going to be asked or said and it is usually lively. I never invite trolls to this room so it is mostly peaceful among those who come in here.